Picnic spots

Picnics are the best. They just are, aren't they? Has someone ever been on a bad picnic? If yes, then it's their own fault really, I'm sure. In Paris, these have been my favourite picnic spots:

Buttes Chaumont

• Parc de Buttes Chaumont (next to the "blue flowers", that might also be yellow, overlooking the gazebo)
• Jardin du Luxembourg (on the only "Pelouse autorisée", as in the only patch of grass you can walk/sit on, or then on the famous green chairs, that are so gorgeous I every time contemplate stealing one. I need to bring a bigger bag next time. Just watch out not to pick a declining model, but the more upright one, they're more convenient for eating/drinking. Also, check out the kind of disturbing kitten poster in the toilets, it's in the big booth.)
• Canal St Martin (on the bank opposite Antoine et Lili. No toilets, so prepare to sneak into a bar if you have to go.)
• Ile-St-Louis (westernmost end, a handy stone bench that can be used as a table. Usually crowded, no toilets close by, so not for long picnics/lots of drinks.)
• Place de Vosges (surprisingly calm, nice and bourgeois when you feel like that)

The green chair of Jardin du Luxembourg

Canal St Martin

For places that I recommend avoiding, I'd say definitely that park on the side of the stairs of Sacré Coeur. It's filled with racaille characters who stare and try to start up a "hellooohelloo" conversation with anything remotely blonde. Often smells of pee. Lots of bees and pidgeons (and their droppings) who try to get their part. I also can't understand people having picnic on Pont des Arts (yeah, some of whom I know also, sorry guys but you already knew what I think...). It's crowded with teenagers and probable pick-pockets. Not to mention that the police passes by all the time and starts lecturing if you have some alcohol. And all the while, you could have parked a 1664-truck on the bank right next to the bridge and they wouldn't raise an eyebrow. So just don't picnic on the bridge, it's stupid, since you'll just be interrupted by the cops and feel embarrased. Have your picnic on the bank of Seine right next to the bridge and have a walk on the bridge before or after. Easy.
Also, if you need a picnic blanket, visit Coupons de St Pierre on Marché St Pierre right next to the Sacré Coeur. They sell 3m pieces of fabric for 5 €. And while you're there, you can also bye all the fabrics and tissues you will ever need in your life. It's THE neighbourhood for that. It has at least 20 smaller fabric shops, one giant, 5-floor one, a big shop selling zips, ribbons, buttons, etc. accessories, not to mention the fantastic shops selling only buttons. They look amazing, rows after rows of tubes of buttons organized by colours. And then there are the more extravagant ones that probably sell for a very certain clientele who wear lots of feathers, paillettes and gigantic hats, but probably have problems finding lamé-dresses in a men's size... And right next to it a shop selling only matress and pillow fillings or a shop selling only oriental dance costumes and accessories.

Oops, ventured a bit off the subject of picnics there I guess.
One of the great things to do when on a picnic in Paris is some "alpha-male research". Or you could also call it checking out the hot guys, but that sounds sleazy and slutty. Which it isn't. Obviously. We're just feeding our eyes while we feed our stomachs, that's all. And it's kind of similar to the idea that good food shouldn't be wasted. Well, it's such a waste if a perfect male specimen walks around and no-one looks at him! So actually we're doing him a favor, charity basically. Poor guy. You can come and cry on my shoulder anytime. No, I don't mind if you need a hug.